H O N O R I N G   P L E A S U R E

H O N O R I N G  *  P L E A S U R E

In the Shakti Temple in Thailand we explored PLEASURE by doing an exercise where we had to express our pleasure through rocking, sounding, moving our hips while being witnessed by a sister. – Clothes are on or off, you can choose, and you begin to sigh and sound touching yourself in a pleasureful way.

Yes, uncomfortable for me!
First she just holds space and witnesses you in your experience…How do you move in your pleasure with neutral feedback?

THEN she begins to tells you – no don’t do that, stop it… all the while you have to keep moving in your pleasure…How do you move in your pleasure with negative feedback?

LASTLY, your witness/space holder witnesses you and begins to make pleasurable sounds with you… in the end, you do a transfiguration of eye gazing …

So why do we do this practice?

So many of us have had shame around being in pleasure. Even the word somehow seems like a dirty word… there can be an immediate shameful sensation inside your being when even being asked – what is pleasure to you. How do you experience pleasure? 

Many of us when we were young were told not to touch yourself or not to do that… Which then begins to build our shame caves within… This is the second time I have done this exercise and to be honest the first time it was super hard for me to allow pleasure to be witnessed – firstly I just felt totally stupid! And that I ridiculous doing it, I can’t find my pleasure and be seen in this moment, I felt too fat, and unsexy, un-sensual, disconnected from myself … and what I learned is FUCK I don’t know pleasure. How did that sneak by me? How could I have missed that one? I was always trying to survive, I was out on my own at a young age and when I was small I never had a resting place, a home to rest in myself. Yet, I thought I would have known pleasure… But – NOPE, I didn’t know it at all. It was so foreign to me. I began to see how  love starved and  pleasure deficient my life was and because I didn’t know any better, I didn’t realize it.

So this time in Thailand, I entered this exercise willing to explore and to love myself, my body and to willing to allow myself to be witnessed… and while the witness was saying stop, don’t do that, you’re disgusting  – I continued to fully allow myself to continue in my pleasure… I tend to disassociate so in the end when we gazed into each others eyes,  I kept saying to myself…

I am seen, I am witnessed… 

The beautiful thing about doing these practices again and again is to see the evolutionary process my soul has moved through even within the last year. To see these changes, to know that now I am creating a life with pleasure, love and support. That I chose to not stay in a life that was love starved and deficient of pleasure…

I am still exploring what pleasure is, what the difference is between allowing and surrendering.. Speaking my needs and wants, honoring myself and my beautiful body AND each day I am falling deeper into love….

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